Tuesday, November 29, 2011

When Less Really is More

From Keeper of the Home: When Less Really is More:


Last week, we turned our house upside down. Almost literally.


In a matter of one morning, we uprooted everything in our family room (which housed all of our children's toys, DVDs, some books and random other things), our entire downstairs storage (boxes upon boxes, whose contents we had long forgotten), and our "messy" room (an office-like room that was a catch-all for things without a proper home). A week or two earlier, I had also dramatically cleared out our family closet, main bathroom, and kitchen in similar fashion, inspired by Organized Simplicity.


Next, we purged. And we were brutal. Didn't love it? Gone. Couldn't remember the last time we used it? Gone. Somewhat broken and not particularly important to us? Gone. None of the children were especially attached to it or used it regularly? Gone.


It felt like half of what we owned, though I'm sure it wasn't close.


We left the bulk of the furniture alone, that wasn't the issue. It was all the other stuff.


Stuff.


When did we get so much stuff? Did we even know all the stuff that we had? If we took this box or that box from storage, would we even miss any of it?



I wish I had taken pictures to show you (but I was actually ended up sick with the flu during much of the process- my husband is truly amazing to have finished it himself!). We filled our entire minivan almost 1 1/2 times with things to bring to the thrift store and the dump. We don't think we're done, either. There are a few rooms that need some more attention yet.


Not to mention that once we started, it became so freeing to purge that we almost don't want to stop.


Since everything vacated the premises 48 hours ago, we can't stop commenting on how peaceful the house feels. We've lived here for almost a year and a half, but only just this weekend it began to feel like our home, instead of just a place where we live and keep our stuff.




Bringing the Toy Clutter Under Control at Last


One of the best parts of it all? Our family/play room had been driving me batty since we moved in. I had such a hard time encouraging the children to keep it tidied and I often cleaned it myself after they went to bed, out of sheer frustration. It overflowed into our dining room and kitchen and toys were often scattered all over the house. It was discouraging to say the least.


Our solution for the toys? We moved the large oak shelves that held all of the children's bins and baskets of toys down to our basement storage area (where they are not allowed to play or go without permission). We got rid of the large toy box that held all of the odds and ends and contributed much to the mess.


All that we kept upstairs was their wooden play kitchen (empty), a wooden stroller/cart, a few stuffed animals, and our son's train table (in his bedroom). We put everything back into organized containers and baskets, downsized due to the purging. And we put them all downstairs on the shelves, out of site.


Several instantaneous results of doing this:



  • We bring one bin up at a time, and rather than getting quickly bored, we've noticed them engaging more thoroughly and getting bored less quickly.

  • Clean up is a snap. I simply say "put the toys back in the bin", which is infinitely less overwhelming to young children than "please clean up the playroom".

  • There isn't much mess to spread, so it stays contained and the other parts of the house remain tidy. Ahhh.


Do We Own It or Does It Own Us?



As we drove home from a family dinner last night, my husband commented to me that even though he hadn't felt that we had a lot of stuff (and compared to many North American families, we probably didn't), he didn't realized that it had owned us in many regards.


Stuff is funny like that. When you have it, you have to store it, care for it, use it (or tell yourself that you'll use it at some point), clean it, carry the weight of it. There is a mental, physical and emotional price to the things that we own.


For us, it feels good to be back in control, owning our stuff, instead of continuing to let it own us.



What's the status of your stuff? Who really owns who?


Both images by Robert S. Donovan




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Becoming a Better Mother: Pursue Excellence, Not Perfection

From A Delightful Home: Becoming a Better Mother: Pursue Excellence, Not Perfection:


This is a guest post by Crystal of Intentional Homemaker


Fear of Failure. It’s something I wrestle with every day as a mom.


Let me share something with you that taught me a valuable lesson. As I was first getting to know one of my good friends, I was certain she was a mom who had it all together. As a mom of two children less than one year apart, I had a lot of fear about being a mom and all that entailed.


My friend always spoke calmly, gently, and quietly, with the just right amount of firmness when correcting and disciplining.


She planned creative and fun activities and outings.


She was respectful and submissive to her husband.


She had a beautiful home that always seemed neat and tidy.


She attended Bible study and practiced hospitality.


As our friendship grew and developed, and we shared more of our lives with each other, it became very clear that NO MOM HAS IT ALL TOGETHER, appearances or not.


At that moment, I realized that I had fallen into the trap of measuring my success as a mom against other moms.


My amazing friend is a beautiful example to me of godly motherhood. But, is she perfect? No? Am I a perfect mom? No.


And, what’s more, we never can be.


Too many times I confuse pursuing excellence with striving for perfection. And, that causes trouble, not just for me, but also for my family, too. Excellent is defined as “very good of its kind,” described by words like beautiful, fine, top-notch. I didn’t find one place that defined being excellent as being perfect. Perfect is defined as “being entirely without fault or defect.” It’s unattainable, impossible to reach.


So how do I pursue excellence in motherhood without getting caught up in trying to achieve perfection?


1. Don’t Use Another Mom as the Standard for Mothering


I need to find my identity in Jesus Christ, not in the successes or failures of someone else. While Jesus was perfect, and I never will be, I can pursue excellence by following His example. Proverbs 31, Titus 2, and Ephesians 5 are just a few chapters directed toward women and their roles.


2. Do Find Another Mom as an Example, an Encourager, and an Empathizer


While I shouldn’t use other moms as my standard, I do need them. It’s so helpful to surround myself with other moms who share my faith and views on parenting. These women challenge me, hold me accountable, encourage me, and understand me.


3. Don’t Get Caught up in Feeling Guilty


So many times I get so discouraged because I feel so guilty about all that I’m not doing. While I need to examine myself for issues like selfishness or laziness, I need to remember that my view of motherhood needs to correspond with God’s. I need to do my best, but does that mean setting unrealistic expectations and goals? Does my house need to be spotless and my children fluent in six languages by age 5? No.


4. Do Set Reasonable Goals


I have to remember that I am only one person. I can’t “do it all.” So, I have to set reasonable goals for myself as a mom. That may mean sitting down with my husband every so often and talking about what we want for our family, perhaps coming up with a vision or mission statement based on Biblical truths. These types of tools help me stay focused and avoid unnecessary guilt and impossible expectations.


5. Do Realize That I Am Not God


Ultimately, I cannot change our children’s hearts. I cannot change my husband’s or anyone else’s heart. Only God can do that, and that is between each person and God. It is my responsibility as a mom to instruct our children in Biblical truth, follow Jesus’ example as closely as I can, and then trust God to do what He says in the lives of our children.


Stacy’s note: I really appreciate this honest post from Crystal. I know this is a constant battle for many of us. I’d love to hear what you have to say:


Do you struggle with reaching for perfection instead of pursing excellence? What helps keep you on track?


Crystal is married to Jarvis and is a stay-at-home mama to four young children. She blogs at Intentional Homemaker where she encourages moms to grow as godly women and to be conscious homemakers.


(Top image from morgue file)


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Monday, November 28, 2011

11 Ways to Celebrate Christ this Christmas

From Keeper of the Home: 11 Ways to Celebrate Christ this Christmas:




As 2011 comes to an end, we’re sharing helpful lists to help you save money, stay healthy, get organized, creatively repurpose, frugally gift-give, intentionally celebrate and more in our “11 Things for 2011” series throughout these holiday months.


Written by Erin Odom, Contributing Writer


As followers of Jesus, keeping Christ as the center of my family's Christmas celebrations is key. Now, I don't think it's necessarily wrong to decorate with snowmen, buy presents, throw parties, eat lots of (good!) food or even play Santa Claus (although my family doesn't). But if we do all those things and forget Christ, what does that say to our children? And what does that say to the world?


Over the past couple years, I've been gathering ideas on how my family can truly celebrate Christ during the season.



1. Decorate with Nativity Sets



When we first married, my husband and I started collecting nativity sets from different countries whenever we went on mission trips. Sometime today or tomorrow, we will bring out nativity sets from Zimbabwe, Costa Rica, China, Argentina, Israel--and a few from North America as well--and use them to teach our children the Christmas story and about how God calls us to spread the gospel of Jesus all over the world.


2. Serve Others as a Family


Whether you serve a meal at your local soup kitchen or sew dresses for impoverished girls, use this season as a springboard for serving those Jesus came to save throughout the year.


3. Deliver Treats with Scripture


What do homemade treats or baked goods have to do with celebrating Jesus? If your focus is making the treats a way to show Him to your neighbors, it could be a prime example of keeping Him center! One of my favorite memories from last Christmas was taking my then-2-year-old and 2-month-old girls all bundled up around our neighborhood and delivering banana bread on Christmas morning. We simply attached a card to each loaf with a Scripture proclaiming Christ's birth.



4. Decorate a Jesse Tree


I had never heard of a Jesse Tree until last Christmas! Basically, a Jesse Tree uses devotionals from throughout the entire Bible, starting with Creation and the Fall of man and ending with Jesus's coming. After reading each daily devotional, you and your children can make ornaments representative of that day's story to hang on a special tree. Last year, I subscribed to Ann Voskamp's blog, A Holy Experience, and received a wonderful free downloadable book of Jesse Tree devotionals and printables.


5. Count down the days with an Advent Calendar--or Wreath


Advent refers to a period of spiritual preparation in the season leading up to Christmas. Many families celebrate Advent with countdown calendars for each day of December--or with lighting a candle for each week leading up to December 25.


6. Keep Gift-Giving Simple


My family doesn't think there is anything wrong with giving gifts at Christmas, but instead of lavishing our girls with any and every toy, we've decided to keep it at just 3 gifts--in representation of the 3 gifts that the wise men gave to Jesus. We are intentional about the types of gifts as well: They receive a want (like a new toy), a need (like an article of clothing) and a spiritual gift (like a new Bible). Another idea is to give gifts that give back to others.



7. Throw a "Happy Birthday, Jesus" Party


I've recently heard of families baking birthday cakes for Jesus to eat with Christmas dinner. Another option would be to throw a birthday party for Jesus. Invite all the neighborhood children and use it as an evangelistic outreach.


8. Dramatize the Christmas Story


My college roommate's family has always put on their own Christmas pageant. An alternate to this would be to watch someone else act it out. The last couple years my family has enjoyed a local "A Walk Through Bethlehem" outdoor live nativity.


9. Watch The Nativity Story


Some Christmas movies are cheesy. The Nativity Story isn't. My husband and I have started watching it together on Christmas Eve while we're wrapping presents.



10. Create a Paper Chain Garland


Richele, from Under the Golden Apple Tree, and her children decorate their tree with a homemade paper chain. Each chain contains one Scripture from the Christmas story, and they spend the days leading up to Christmas opening up and reading the verses.


11. DON'T Do it All!


Last year, I tried to do it all. I was overly enthusiastic about the fact that my 2 year old could understand more of the Christmas story. But in trying so hard to keep Christ the center, I ended up stressing out and leaving Him out!


The result was a half-made Jesse Tree, an Advent calendar that remained unopened and scrambling to open up multiple Scripture chains several nights in a row when we realized we had missed a few. If you're eager to incorporate some of these suggestions, pray about it and decide which ones best fit your family.


I think Jessalyn of Desiring Virtue said it so well here: "Trying to do too much during the holiday season, even good things, can result in a loss of the meditative spirit we are hoping to cultivate."


Further Reading:



How does your family celebrate Christ at Christmas?



Top image by Matt Ryall




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Monday, November 21, 2011

For when I forget my children are a blessing.

The MOB Society: For when I forget my children are a blessing.:

The house is a colossal mess. The floors are sticky with juice-laden footprints. The laundry seems to be multiplying by the hour (and I wonder why these children have so many pairs of pajamas?!) And, whatever you do, PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT MY TOILETS


Bedtime TOOK FOREVER as little ones kept getting up for a drink, then to go potty, then they were hungry (and now they are thirsty again.) Just when I settle in to actually get something done, I hear little footsteps yet again; this time they are scared.


I’m exhausted from being woken up again and again by a teething babe, and getting to bed late after trying to accomplish something in the quiet hours while they sleep.


‘Round and ’round I go, each day seeming to be a repeat of managing chaos, constant discipline, and I wonder what the heck we were thinking by having three kids in under five years?


Children are a blessing. Right, right; I know, I know. But so often I struggle with connecting what I know to what I feel. So what must I cling to in the moments when the last word I would use to describe my experience in motherhood is blessed?


little pieces


My only rock, the sole constant in my life is God’s Word. So I claim scripture, and as I do I ask God to transform my heart and mind to believe what it promises.


Lord, help me to remember that the the fruit of the womb is a reward. —Psalm 127:3 ESV


I thank you that each of my children are fearfully and wonderfully made. Each of their personalities are hand-crafted by you. —Psalm 139:13 ESV


Give me strength, wisdom and great patience to train up these children in the way they should go. —Proverbs 22:6 ESV


I am thankful that ultimately, all my children are taught by You. —Isaiah 54:13 ESV


Lord, each of my children are good and perfect gifts from above, coming down from You, the Father of lights. —James 1:17 ESV


Give me grace, that I would not provoke my children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. —Ephesians 6:4 ESV


Never let me be a hindrance to my children coming to Jesus. —Mark 10:14 ESV


Amen.


What do you do when the demands of motherhood overwhelm? What scriptures do you cling to in the messiness of everyday life?


Photo credit


*******

Find the next post in our Hope for the Weary Mom series at the MOD Squad blog today!









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Serenity for Little Ones During the Holidays

Passionate Homemaking: Serenity for Little Ones During the Holidays:


Note from Lindsay: We are excited to welcome Daniele at Domestic Serenity as a new monthly contributor! Daniele is a lovely pastor’s wife and mother of five children and has lots of wonderful wisdom and insight to share with us on living simply and intentionally. Check out her blog for sweet encouragement! So without further ado… here’s Daniele.



”Okay kids! Here’s the plan and agenda for today — first, we’re running to the craft store for supplies, a quick stop for groceries, then off to the library to check out our holiday books…won’t that be fun? After lunch, we’ll bake gingerbread – lots – and deliver the cookies to our neighbors. Oh, and we’ll shop for our Angel Tree child somewhere in there!


When Daddy gets home, off to get our own tree! We’ll decorate, have hot chocolate, play Christmas music and do our Advent calendar. This year we’re reading some exciting stories each night that I know you’ll just love! Right before bed, we’ll pause to choose a few gifts for those in need. Hmm, what shall it be — chickens, pigs, Bibles, a bicycle? Can’t wait to decide! This is going to be such a fabulous day, right?


Kids? Kids!?…”


{Mom looks around to find that her children have dozed off. She sighs and wakes them. Off they go into the day.}


Okay, so this is a fictitious scenario I’m imagining with Mom excitement-filled and kids running very quickly out of fuel. It’s too full of over-the-top-activity that none of us would actually attempt.


Or do we? Reflect for a moment on the upcoming holiday season :: the plans, ideas, gatherings, celebrations, activities and timeline of events for your family. Now think of the little ones in your home (or the big kiddos as well). Does the pace ahead provide some breathing room, time for pause to soak it all in, some time for…


…serenity?


Serenity is a fancy word for a state of stillness or calm, of peacefulness. We all gravitate towards this need because I believe our Maker created us with a ‘pause-o-meter’. An internal reminder that our minds, our hearts, our bodies can only go so fast and so long before burning out. The same is true for our children.


I’ll be the first to admit of this tendency to over-schedule November and December with good things, but plans nonetheless that rob our home and my little ones of the greatest gift I could bless them with during the holidays — time for pause. Time to reflect. Time for serenity.


I’m committing to three areas of provision for this gift in our home. Perhaps we could all use a gentle reminder — care to join me?


Serenity Socially


Simply put — I’m cutting back on people contact. Instead of succumbing children to extra doses of hustle bustle, seek to run errands in larger chunks while they stay with a spouse, friend or sitter. If there’s a stretch of many activities, try for days ahead or afterwards of just being home, sandwiching the fullness with rest on either side.


Prioritize which people events to include the children, which to provide for another option and which to say ‘no’ to for this year.


Serenity Physically & Emotionally


Little bodies become weary much quicker than Mom or Dad, so pausing and keeping to routines and schedules should play a huge role. When I cut short the toddler’s nap, no wonder he’s not interested in smiling for pictures later or in Christmas crafts {or such is our case, wails loudly in aforementioned craft store! Ahem.}


Evaluating how much stimuli surrounds our days is important — offering the sights and sounds of the season in bite-sized doses instead of too much at once allows children time to receive each one, and to enjoy.


When are children are physically rested, their emotions are more likely to stay in check.


Serenity Spiritually


Scheduling our families to complete a large list of hospitable and charitable activities can leave us just short of irritable. That’s not quite the gospel Jesus had in mind. He does asks us to meet needs of those less fortunate and to open our homes, yet we should choose wisely and carefully how to involve our families. How can your home attend to this commission while still honoring Christ’s command to rest?


The same is true for spiritual instruction during this season – it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Each passing year as we’re faithful to teach, our children understand more and more. There’s no need to download it all at once or to fear that they won’t get ‘the reason for the season’. They will. A little bit at a time.



The holidays are a celebratory time, yet they’re not in isolation from the rest of life. We can and should provide for both a joyous and peaceful season in our homes, and especially for our children.


Grace in the journey…



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Friday, November 18, 2011

4 Ways We Are Simplifying Christmas

Passionate Homemaking: 4 Ways We Are Simplifying Christmas:


Photo Credit


We are all very much aware how much time and energy Christmas preparations can consume and how easily we can loose focus on the true meaning of it all. Every year I have to sit down and prayerfully evaluate what we should and should not do this season. We want to keep our hearts in tune and limit the clutter. Here are a few ways we are simplifying this year…


1. Photo cards – get them shipped for you!


For the last several years we have been intentional about sending out Christmas photo cards to our extended family and friends as a means of letting others know that they are loved and thought of during the holiday season. It is a simple way of staying connected and communicate Christ’s love across the miles. We don’t do any fancy letter but love to send out a simple greeting with our annual family photo. But I admit, it is certainly taxing to address and stamp all the cards and get them shipped in a timely fashion. This year, I am simplifying it further and paying a company to address and ship them for me! I found that Card Store will address and ship your cards for free with any purchase. They have some great sales running right now too – 50% off today! One less thing to fill my plate!


2. Limiting the Gifts – stockings only!


While our children young I wanted to establish the proper understanding of the reason and purpose of Christmas. I want our hearts to focus on the blessing of giving with the majority of our Christmas budget resources. We want to cultivate hearts of generosity in our children from a young age, thus we participate in Operation Christmas Child and we chose a family that we can adopt and bless with a Jesus Gift. So this year we are establishing a new tradition of only giving gifts that fit in our stockings with a specific gift budget of $25 per child and $50 for my husband and I. So I’ve purchased an assortment of fun learning things: Classical Kids CDs, art supplies, Brain Quest, garden gloves & kids garden tools. This has really helped simplify the gift giving process, as my size and cost are limited, thus my choices are limited.


3. Name Drawing – one gift per side of the family


For gift giving for extended family, we draw names. So we just have one person on each side of the family to buy for. This makes holiday celebrations simple and kept within a reasonable budget. Since we are a married couple, we put our name down together in the hat so if one of our unmarried siblings pick our name they buy a gift that would be appropriate for both of us. I am sure it would be easier to stop gifting to extended family all together, but there is certainly something special in sharing with one another even in a small way.


Beyond our own family, we like to choose just one other baked goodie that we can bless our neighbors and any one else we are trying to reach out to. This year, I am making small mini loaves of pumpkin bread.


4. Pre-plan and limit family outings


In early November, we plan out our outings for the Christmas season. We make a list of all the different activities, concerts, plays, etc. that we could participate in, and then we choose our top 3 activities that we would like to attend for the year, and then we often rotate in the coming years. This year, Aaron is taking Karis on a special Daddy/daughter date to a local adapted production of the Nutcracker, and we will attend our local Macy’s Day Parade, and a children’s version of Handel’s Messiah. We always prefer things that can be fun family outings rather than adults only events.


What steps are you taking to keep Christmas simple this year?


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